like i told dhariana, it was something more than happiness but i just
cannot grasp the correct word that defined all the emotions i felt last night.
i came to a low, a low low my ex called me. his name is luis. we stopped talking
earlier this year, i can say i made the mistake to bring up his ex , to get
back at him, i felt like i was being attacked, and he decided to never talk
to me again. he IMed me to ask me for my number and without hesistation
i gave it to him, i wonder why , - sigh - so he called, and he tells me.
"i don't know why i'm calling you honestly, i apologize for this
spontaneous call, it's just that i got nothing better to do , see i almost
died of alcohol poisoning not too long ago, i was partying with nelson,
and i woke up not knowing where the fuck i was , i was bruised, i blacked
out, i'm having the time of my life" and so here came the waterworks, i
just can't hear this type of thing, especially since i still CARE, i was infuriated.
that he let himself go this far. i LOVED him a lot. then he said "i wish i knew out
of all people why i'm calling you, you're on my list people i never want to talk to again
i hope i never have to do this again, this is a just type one night stand , just on the
phone" dhariana sat next to me, threatning to leave if i kept talking to him on the
phone, probably because she's seen me cry for this kid as well, i hung up ,
he was like "i cant believe, youre hanging up on ME, after i call YOU" the truth:
i woulda gave it all up for him, dhariana would have meant shit to me, if it was alex
a year earlier, just so i can feel like someone needed me. but thank god, i hung up.
it was the right decision for me. everything does happen for a reason but god forbid
he dies, i still love him. moviing on to bigger better things, i spent the night smoking hookah
dancing, and laughing like there was no tomorrow, i felt so alive, no, i felt infinite.
dharii left, she calledme, we have the most intellectual conversations, i love that
we wrote about each other and saved it. it made me feel good. i'm loving my life.
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