i do.

ThatsLifeYo (3:02:28 PM): he called me this morning.

ThatsLifeYo (3:02:39 PM): i didn't wish him a happy birthday.

ThatsLifeYo (3:02:47 PM): he said he liked my card.

AndYourPoint iis (3:06:09 PM): today is his bday?

ThatsLifeYo (3:09:56 PM): yeah.

ThatsLifeYo (3:10:01 PM): he's now eighteen.

ThatsLifeYo (3:10:04 PM): i feel stupid.

ThatsLifeYo (3:10:34 PM): i told him i loved him. he said me too, it felt awkward and he sounded different.

AndYourPoint iis (3:13:14 PM): oh godd.

ThatsLifeYo (3:13:53 PM): ?

AndYourPoint iis (3:17:22 PM): you told him you love him.

ThatsLifeYo (3:17:57 PM): it came out, i feel like i'm so used to saying it.

AndYourPoint iis (3:19:19 PM): I see.

AndYourPoint iis (3:19:30 PM): he said it back too.

ThatsLifeYo (3:20:00 PM): not way he usually says it. and plus i felt like he didn't wanna say it but if he didn't that would hurt.

ThatsLifeYo (3:20:20 PM): me.

AndYourPoint iis (3:21:25 PM): :/

ThatsLifeYo (3:21:40 PM): he never says me too. never dhariana.

ThatsLifeYo (3:22:30 PM): i need to get over this kid..

ThatsLifeYo (3:22:41 PM): things like this never go my way.

AndYourPoint iis (3:30:40 PM): calling him seven times in 20 minutes.

AndYourPoint iis (3:30:52 PM): I don't think its a good way to get over him.

AndYourPoint iis (3:30:59 PM): you need to let go.

te llore un rio.

well, eff my life at the moment.
fuck you for coming back into his life.
fuck you for questioning your feelings towards her.
if a relationship doesn't work the first time or third
why even bother?


i've learned that.
i'm not going to waste my time with this shit.
and what sucks the most?
i seem to have been falling for you more, and more.
i hate to be this attached to someone.
i can't believe this shit.

Hayao Miyazaki

well, after seeing the trailer for "ponyo", ronny started
commenting about the director and how he also made
"howl's moving castle" which i didn't know but i like the
film and i told him how i liked this other film called
"kiki's delivery service" which i just recently found out
that he directed as well. i was like WOAHH. this man
be a gee. i think he might take me to see it.
and i think i'll really enjoy this film, but he has
yet to see so many films such as fight club, y tu
mama tambien and full metal jacket 'cause i could
name so many more. i have decent taste in films.

my mother of god.

seems like every relationship i'm in people think or know that
they have feelings for another && that shit i really unfair to me.
i hate it, you know and i never believed it could happen in this
relationship with ronny. i believe so much in this, i do.

but he fucked this, and truth be told i'm really going to have
a harder time trusting him. what the fuck have i done to make
these fucking people question their feelings towards others.
fuck that, i don't need this shit & if he does come to conclusion
that he does have feelings for her, that is it. i'm not going to be
involved in a relationship with another fucker. i'm young and
i will do as i please. it hurts me so much to know that the
person i've wanted for so long and now have could have feelings
for someone else. i don't find anything wrong with me talking to
luis, so what if he was my ex, he was my friend first. and letty?
she's here to stay. it's wrong of me but i'm the type of person that
isn't really fair at all. it's my way or else you're fucked.
i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore.

and what's the fucking deal with people i'm involved with calling
me their exes or their former intrests names like.
letty - amanda
john - don't remember, but probably called me stephanie.
luis - erica.
ronny - amanda,
pardon me but i'm FED up with the name "amanda" , and if
you do call me another name, it's obvious you have something
towards them.

ay dios mio, la gente.

anyways, i really want to go to trash and burn but i'm not sure
the economic situations not well at all and i am going to dorney
park next sunday but i've been stuck in this house ever since we
got back. all i do is take care of emely, i need to enjoy myself a
little bit with my own friends and maybe not my boyfriend.
everyone needs space.

P.S. TRUE BLOOD IS ONLY FREAKING GETTING BETTER :D

why did this start?

OH GOD.
why.
why.
why.
why.
why.


dramatic.
that's how i feel but it's life here i go
with the sameeeee thinking, what if i don't get
to live my teenage yrs cause of a relationship?
we ALL know i'm MEANT to be single but
it's nice having someone that you longed for.
it's exciting, but like i really hope i don't fuck
this up & cheat like i have ... well .. yeah >.O
i'm not proud to have double timed certain
individuals, but that's all in the past now.


why can't YOU leave me alone fucker?
you're really cockblocking like jesus,
i broke up with you for a reason.
our relationship was worn out, ropa vieja.


i moved on and i just wanna make it work with him.
leave in peace now, srsly.