it's here.

it's christmas & yet it doesn't feel like it.
i feel actually horrible & really don't want
anything given to me at all and if i get anything
it's most likely going to be under 5 dollars,
although i REALLY want my xbox 360 but
i'll usually spend that money on gifts for others
or the most important thing food but i think
good thing this yr. is ending & i won't be here for new yrs.
i'll be w. my father near that beach up in Massachusetts,
i find it so nice up there but i know for sure i'll end up tearing because i'll miss my mother & sister, it happened last yr. because it was first time away from home on a holiday, ever. and i hate tacky new yrs. resolution usually people forget them before january ends and i never seem to keep my same old resolution
cause i constantly screw myself over and put myself in unnecessary situations, i want break all ties with everyone and start over but isn't that everyone's wish at some or several points in their life? & in the end it gets you nowhere. :sigh:
i miss school, i really do hope cause it's the only thing i can do ; hope i could do better.
since i can't even keep that up.


i'm going to search up offensive terms now
in urban dictionary to make me feel better.